How much of our lives is spent acting like nothing is wrong? In our personal lives, in our professional lives and gathering with friends in social situations, denial is the natural way of coping.
If I pretend horrible things are not happening, then maybe they are not happening! The more confusing the situation, the better people can be controlled.
Confusion is a place within ourselves where self-doubt can have its way with us. How often does someone expect other people to be mind readers? “I told you I wanted you to do that!” says the father to his son. If the son is too afraid or in self-doubt, he will believe that there is something wrong with his own memory.
If the son has courage enough to say, “Dad, you didn’t tell me anything like that,” most likely the father will disagree with his son even if he himself is confused if he said it or not.
The mornings after last night’s fighting is seemingly forgotten is another example of acting like nothing’s wrong. How often do kids go to bed hearing terrible fighting between parents only to wake up with the parents speaking, or not speaking, with no explanation or apology for being loud or scary?
If there is no one to blame, and everyone plays a part in the dynamics of the family, why not begin to implement the idea that the whole family must be in treatment?
Let’s all look at our part in why so many of us are still acting like there is nothing wrong, even though so many families are struggling to survive and thrive.
Let’s talk about it.
Debra Whittam is the author of “I'm I Going to be Ok?" For any media inquiries or questions please contact: Contact@DebraWhittam.com