Coming From An Alcoholic Home
Whether we are Trump supporters or not, the atmosphere that has been created in this nation feels exactly the same as living in an alcoholic home.
The steady, ever increasing state of anxiety and impending threat is constant. There is never downtime or a break from it. The people we once tip toed around (so as to not upset them) are the ones not saying or doing a thing to change themselves, but instead blaming all those around them. Denial sets in and the ‘family’ system is in a pattern of waiting. Waiting for the next rage and caustic rant and for the time when the alcoholic decides to give us ‘crumbs to live on’ and be nice.
The only people who aren’t upset are the ones drinking and not seeing what the rest of us see. The patterns of behavior of alcoholics are what we look at. Sometimes sullen and quiet, possibly hung over, the alcoholic leaves the residence giving the family a respite. Upon hearing the garage door open, or in our case, another ‘on air’ declaration, the family cringes and braces, as this one person returns, for what will happen next. Once he/she begins drinking, everyone around them prepares for the inexplicable things which are said and done, often- times in the wee hours of late night or morning.
Irrational and caustic, an alcoholic wreaks havoc on those in the immediate family to the point where our sleep patterns are disrupted, we’ve lost our appetite, and concentration on anything else is seemingly impossible. This sounds eerily like what happens with young ones immediately diagnosed with ADD/ADHD. What is going on in the family environment?
We become, in this intimate family setting, or the environment of this nation, divided and in those divisions, honestly lost. Family members of alcoholics wake up with a sense of dread for the next chaotic scene to happen. We wonder what to prepare and wait for in these next days.
And, so it is with this precious, fragile country of ours as each day brings ever-present chaos and drama. A clear sign that there are drugs and alcohol involved is living with drama 24/7.
In my book, “Am I Going to Be Okay? Weathering the Storms of Mental Illness, Addiction and Grief,” I write about the impact and lasting effects of living with someone who takes his/her family hostage with this horrible way of life. Mostly, my book travels the road of my parents and my life created in those very surroundings. Where does untreated mental illness (anxiety and depression), untreated addiction (drugs, alcohol, eating/not eating, spending, sexing and gambling) leave each member of that journey? It’s what is happening now in this once ‘united’ states.
I see a revolution on the horizon. A rising up of those not willing to turn a blind eye in denial to what is happening around us. Those of us who no longer allow lame excuses for the alcoholic’s behaviors to send us into the day with hopelessness. This is the state of affairs now in the US.
Another clear sign of addiction is a state of confusion in those around the alcoholic/addict. If you have been raised in a family such as this, you can see it immediately in the temperament of the leader of the US. Stuck between the temper tantrums of a four year old and the rants of an eight-year-old bully on the playground, this ‘leader’ is pretending. It appears he is only pretending to do what needs to be done after doing the only thing he was interested in, which was winning the race.
I wonder if it would be a good idea, or if anyone would be willing to check on our ‘fearless’ leader and see if there are empty bottles hidden in the corners of that White House or better yet, drug test him. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.
Let’s talk about this one, shall we?
Debra Whittam is the author of “I'm I Going to be Ok?" For any media inquiries or questions please contact: Contact@DebraWhittam.com