How difficult it is for me not to attempt controlling a situation. I want what I want when I want it. However, I have been told, and have experienced, that there is no such thing as control. Also, there is no such thing as perfection. We chase both control and perfection until they kill us.
People have attempted to control us. We have attempted to control people, places and things. When I want an outcome to be different than what is actually happening, my reactions make it worse. For example, I have lost weight for my health. My body, which is approaching its 60th year, looks a bit like it did in my twenties, parts of my thirties and a few days (here and there) in my forties. So, the outcome I’ve been demanding of my body is to get back on pointe’ from my ballet days.
Does any of this make sense? To the rational mind, behaviors that make sense are on the very other end of the spectrum from emotional mind. So no, this does not make sense. Just because my body looks, slightly, like it did years ago does not mean it can do the things it once did. My mind says, “Yes, it can. And, it will.” Not only have I ended up in physical therapy because of hyperextending my hip, I have also triggered some mild arthritis that has been waiting to present itself.
Shouldn’t I work harder to make myself do what I want to do? I pray and meditate for the ability to dance as I once did. I ask God for what I want to do, for what I want to happen. Yet, I can’t control the outcome of this or of anything, for that matter. I am being asked to slow down and do more self-care. Reckless at times, I have forged ahead in life with my best-laid plans for a sparkling, creative future. Each time I predicted a certain outcome, something else would happen.
The best suggestion I have ever been given is to do the footwork for a certain hope or dream in my life, then pray for the strength to achieve the outcome, not the outcome itself. The next right thing might be to do nothing and let life take its course. This concept is new to someone like me. Yet, when I have tried to do the footwork then pray for the strength for the outcome, there has been peace and acceptance where before there had been none.
Debra Whittam is the author of “I'm I Going to be Ok?" For any media inquiries or questions please contact: Contact@DebraWhittam.com